Last week, as I wrote my PostScript about the challenge of asking, I tipped my head down as my hand scribbled words into my composition notebook.  I didn’t want my writer buddy, who was on a Zoom writing sprint with me, to see my tears.

But then I decided I don’t have to pretend in front of friends. (I don’t have to pretend at all, especially not in front of friends.) She will love me with tears or without tears, empty or full.

As I focused on the air moving into and out of my lungs, as I allowed my feelings, an unaccustomed feeling showed up:

Ease.

The place in my chest, on the left side, between my heart and my shoulder, didn’t feel tight anymore.

“I don’t care if the number of people who subscribe is zero. What matters is that I asked.”

“Did I ask?” is a process measure. “How many people signed up?” is an outcome measure.

I’m letting go of outcome measures.

Not just about this.

About everything.

 Chewing the Cud of Good

Thankful for the pleasure of arranging flowers with a friend during a local class with local flowers.