FAQs: Cookies, Mindful Regard, Rx, and What About Cindy?

You’ve sent me a lot of questions lately—thank you!

Many were about my medications, which surprised me. That’s the answer that required vulnerability, because I incorrectly think of myself as 30 years old and in perfect health. Here are the answers…

Q: Is it possible to get the recipe for the cookies you made for Saul and Robert?

A: A long time ago Trent made me promise never to share the recipe in case I needed to bake cookies to make money. I have broken that promise a couple of times and felt guilty about it. But if I need to earn money, I’m not going to do it baking cookies. I’ve asked Trent to release me from that promise, so I can share the recipe for Sweet Baby Lover Cookies without guilt. We’re good to go.


Q: When you’re giving Roxie ‘mindful regard,’ what are you doing?

A: Mindful regard is paying attention without judgment or agenda. When meditating with Roxie, I sit next to her with my eyes open but fixed on a spot on the floor. My body must remain perfectly still. Then, when she lifts her head or I’ve been meditating for 30 seconds, I give her mindful regard. I move my focus from the spot to her, but I don’t make eye contact. I simply take in her being with a soft gaze. I honor her presence, then go back to meditating.


Q: Why do you take two thyroid medications instead of one?

A: For most people with low or no thyroid, all they need is one, such as Synthroid or Levothyroxine. Our bodies need T4 and T3, and both those drugs supply T4. When T4 is supplied, most bodies can make their own T3. Mine does not. So, I take Levothyroxine for T4 and Armour Thyroid for T3 (and T4). It took my doctor more than six months to figure out which drugs and in what combination, but we’ve got it down now.

And as long as we’re here, why Levothyroxine instead of Synthroid? Because according to my endocrine surgeon, Levo works better for many people. It does for me. It also costs less than Synthroid, but it seems that AbbVie (Synthroid’s manufacturer) has managed to get CVS Caremark (and others?) to automatically replace a prescription for Levothyroxine with Synthroid instead. That took time to straighten out as well.


Q: For a do-over, what would you have done differently in the work situation with your former boss, Cindy?

A: If I knew then what I know now, when Cindy’s boss first gave me the assignment to lead the project, I would have said, “This is going to be awkward. If this goes badly, if I encounter performance issues with Cindy, do I have your full support to manage those issues?

Then, with Cindy, I would have been more upfront about our situation and had a conversation with her soon after the decision was announced. I would have said, “We’re in an awkward position. You’re my boss, and yet on this project, you report to me. I had no input into this decision—the project staffing was decided by department leadership. Given that they made me the project manager, it’s my role to set expectations and hold team members accountable. Just as you have set expectations for me on other projects, I will be setting expectations for you on this one.”

Then, if Cindy chose not to meet expectations, I would inform my boss, my boss’s boss, and our department’s HR business partner that I was beginning the performance counseling process.

In my conversation with Cindy, I would get to use my favorite performance management words. After describing how she was not meeting performance expectations, I would say, “What is at risk here is your position with this company. Whether or not you keep your job is not a decision I will make. You will make that decision. It depends entirely on whether you decide to perform… or not.”

Chewing the Cud of Good

Clouds at sunset

Thankful for getting older and—at least a little—wiser.

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